3 Tips to Consider When Meeting People Is Not the Issue
There seems to be no end to the growth of online dating sites. It is estimated that 40 million men and women are using online sites to meet new companions or partners. While many Singles would agree that they have increased their options considerably by accessing a database of individuals from the comfort of home, the question that often remains relates to the quality and progression of this process “I’ve met all these people and gone on more dates than ever before but none of these exchanges has really produced meaningful relationships. Now what?”
Keywords: singles, dating, love, relationships, online dating sites, coaching, single men, single women
According to Kelly, she had been on more dates in the last year than she had throughout all of the previous years of her Single life. After two years, Kelly’s last relationship ended in November, 2006. At twenty-eight years old, she decided that she would enter the unknown territory of the online dating world. She heard repeatedly from those around her that any Single person could find a great partner if they just get out there and meet as many people as possible. So that’s exactly what she did.
To her surprise, Kelly met a number of what she-called “date-material” candidates. Her screening process included: single, average to good looking and gainfully employed. Kelly spent a great deal of time interacting through emails, followed by telephone calls, and quite often the date (s). She was initially very pleased with the experience and looked forward to making new connections with a variety of single men. Six months later, she grew tired of the “getting to know” and “first date” phases. She wondered why none of the interactions resulted in a relationship. By the end of the year, she wanted off the merry-go-round of: connect, communicate, meet, sometimes communicate more, and then move on. Of course a few of the singles that she met became friends.
Kelly then took another leap into unfamiliar territory. She saw an ad for a Singles Coach that outlined how she and other solo-livers could benefit from a more focused dating campaign. Kelly’s primary presenting challenge was what to do when you are meeting single people who seem suitable but nothing materializes from the encounters time and time again. She learned a few key elements that she immediately began to incorporate into her online dating activities. They are:
1. It is true that the more singles you meet increases the probability of meeting the right partner since it goes without saying that you will need to be around people to meet people. The problem for Kelly was that her filtering method was far too simplistic. While appearance and employment are two important factors to consider, they do not provide sufficient information about a person’s character and values. Kelly considered subtle ways to both communicate more about her and elicit more about a new person before meeting.
2. Without realizing it, Kelly started to carry her frustration with the online dating process around with her on each and every date. She admitted that she was probably a drag to be on a date with because she had become cynical about the outcome. Kelly adjusted her attitude after incorporating the previous tip #1 and letting go of her internalized pressure to be in a relationship and get married. She came to believe that she will enjoy her ideal life with the right perspective combined with action taken that supports her way of thinking and desired visions. She recognized immediately how relaxed she was and saw the difference in the response from her future dates. The conversations were much more comfortable.
3. With respect to Kelly’s expectations, Kelly adopted the view that even with the filtering and right attitude there would be hits and misses in the life of singles who are dating. The goal for her was to reduce the misses and find the fun in meeting new people again. She let go of the timeline and expectations related to the outcome of her dates. Overall, Kelly found that she was happier and began to focus more on other areas of her life.
Today Kelly no longer uses the internet to meet other singles. She has been dating Richard for five months now and both have decided that they are going to pursue their relationship exclusively. The rest is left to be seen but Kelly attributes this present success to the changes that she made after 50 Dates and taking the time to reflect on what would be next.
About the Author
Your Way Coach Carol (Soares) brings a unique brand of dedication to the coaching and industry-related services provided by Your Way Singles Network, founded in 2007. The coaching programs encourage a person to move beyond the internal and external imposed expectations and limitations that sometimes accompanies Singlehood, live their life to the fullest and attract greater widespread success.
For more information and a free copy of our workbook, 10 Ways to Be the Best Possible You and Attract More Love in Your Life, visit online at www.yourwaysingles.com/index.php
Contact: admin@yourwaysingles.com
Copyright 2008
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